I was 28 when Cecilia told me to close my eyes, listen to my body, and tell her where I was. I was in a room I had long forgotten. She asked me what was happening. And I just knew. I remembered.
By the end of the session, I felt shaky and a bit dazed. I was sharing so much that Cecilia let our session continue for quite a long time. She said I would probably start receiving a lot more information. She was right.
I started putting the pieces together and at first it wasn’t easy. It helped that I thoroughly enjoyed the process. Receiving information would happen in many ways. One day my dad sat me down for one of his talks and told me something he had never mentioned before. He answered the very question I had been asking myself for days.
And then another day, I was lying down, looking up at the ceiling, and a shape on it made me think of my grandfather’s dog. I remembered how I didn’t like it when he tried to make me pet it. I felt myself begin to feel more and more anxious and decided to step outside.
I opened the door and there it was: a sphere of light traveling very fast from one end of the street to the other at the level of my eyesight. I immediately looked to my left to see if the lamp on the wall next to me was on. My mind was trying to make sense of what I was seeing. My next thought was: could it be birds? But the light kept traveling long enough for me to realize that what I was seeing was otherworldly.
I only had about three sessions with Cecilia, but they were so powerful I felt very close to her. At the end of our last session, I sensed I wouldn’t see her again.
I found out about her passing a few months later while at the Organic Market I would visit on the weekends. Her daughter was one of the vendors. That day she was wearing sunglasses and there was a small photo of her mother on her booth. She had passed away that morning. Her daughter invited me to her service. It was cathartic.
After her passing, I feared I wouldn’t find someone else who would help me so much, so I would try to connect with her. She visited me in a dream. I was lying down like when I had sessions with her, her hands were on me, as if she were giving me Reiki. But then she said something I didn’t understand very well at the time, something about not being able to go where she was and about God. A few weeks later I had another dream that made it clear to me that I had to look for help somewhere else.
By that time, I was seeing the signs that led me to realize that I had Guides and that they were communicating with me, letting me know that it was important that I listen to them.
Also around that time, my partner broke up with me. I didn’t know how to deal with it. I loved him so much. But it was a necessary breakup that opened me up to continue to follow my path with even more intention.
I enrolled in A New Paradigm for Women, a workshop led by the woman who would become my greatest human teacher, Ibis Lebrón. It lasted around six months and was the most comprehensive work I’ve done in my healing journey. I began the work of forgiveness.
By the end of the six months, my partner and I were together again. Our communication was even better than it had always been. I had acquired so many tools. And we continued to do the work that I believe we came to do together.
We talked about seeing a therapist. I suggested we try Ibis, since I thought the world of her. She had a softness to her that I had never experienced, and I intuitively knew that that’s exactly what I needed to heal.
We went to our first session and, while Ibis spoke with my partner alone, I noticed a table with books for sale in another room. One book, titled Talk to Your Angels, called my attention.
I opened it and started reading the preface. I knew there was a reason I found this book. Ibis said I should keep it.
As I was reading the book, I found a passage where one of the authors mentions a way in which a person’s Guide will condense their energy enough to allow the person to see them. It was a description of the traveling light I saw that afternoon.
As a healing tool, Talk to Your Angels helped me develop a deeper understanding of my relationship with my Spirit Guides and their job in helping me fulfill my life’s purpose.
Shortly after, they guided me to the person who formally introduced me to them. Her name is Gay. Upon introducing me to my Guides, she taught me how to ask questions and receive answers.
She explained that since I had the gift of Vision as my first gift, when asking my Guides a question I could also think of an image as an answer for yes and for no. When I closed my eyes to see the image for yes, I saw a bird flying in front of the Sun.
It took me a while to ask my first question, and then my grandfather passed. My father called me to give me the news, and I was struggling to decide whether going to the funeral home would be the best thing for me, so I asked. I closed my eyes and saw the Sun and the bird and me flying on its wings.
Gay also explained that one of my Guides was not yet with me and that it would show up when I was ready to receive the help that that Guide was meant to give me.
When I heard the bells that announced the arrival of my 6th Guide I was already living in New York. I was in our apartment, translating, when all of a sudden the sound of 7 bells filled the air. They sounded like big church bells.
My relationship with my Guides has continued to develop beyond receiving yes and no answers. Sometimes it’s more of a dialogue, like in this message I received, shortly after hearing the bells:
¿Dónde estás? En un bote lejos de la orilla; Ricardo está a mi lado. El bote se acerca a otro bote. ¿Por qué? Porque se supone que me monte en él. ¿A dónde vas? No lo sé, no quiero ir a ninguna parte. Me quiero quedar aquí mismo, en el medio del mar, donde todo se siente y los poros son acariciados por el agua infinita que no para de fluir y llover desde todas partes hacia el infinito y hacia mí. La quiero toda, así mismo, exacta. Es perfecta y penetradora. No tiene fin, pues no hay fin. El fin es una ilusión. La continuidad es la ley más básica del todo. No hay infinito sin mí pues yo siempre he estado en él, exactamente como ahora, contemplativa, con ganas de conectarme con el más allá, con el todo, con la certeza de que todo es y siempre será lo que tiene que ser: exactamente lo que yo quiero y lo que permito que sea. Permitir, esta es la prueba. ¿Cómo lograrlo? Soltando la culpa. ¿Por qué siento culpa? Porque la aprendiste como todos los demás. ¿Con qué propósito? Con el propósito de limitarnos. ¿Y por qué limitarnos? Por el miedo a la muerte. No entiendo nada. ¿Qué tiene que ver el miedo a la muerte con el deseo de limitarnos? Si nos limitamos no nos conectamos con el infinito y el infinito es muy profundo y complejo. Puede sentirse como la nada porque lo contiene todo y todo es exactamente lo que hay en todas partes, incluyendo tu interior.
Where are you? On a boat far from shore; Ricardo’s with me. The boat is nearing another boat. Why? Because I’m supposed to get on it. Where are you going? I don’t know, I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to stay right here, in the middle of the sea, where you feel everything and your pores are caressed by infinite water that won’t stop flowing and raining from everywhere into infinity and into me. I want all of it, exactly like this, perfectly penetrating. It doesn’t end, because there is no end. The end is an illusion. Continuity is the most basic law of everything. There is no infinite without me because I’ve always been in it, exactly like now, contemplative, wanting to connect with the beyond, with all that exists, with the certainty that everything is and always will be what it needs to be: exactly what I want and what I allow it to be. To allow, that’s the trick. How? Letting go of guilt. Why do I feel guilt? Because you learned it like everybody else. For what purpose? To limit ourselves. And why limit ourselves? Because of our fear of death. I don’t understand anything. What does fear of death have to do with wanting to limit ourselves? If we limit ourselves we don’t connect with the infinite and the infinite is very profound and complex. It can feel like nothing because it contains everything and everything is exactly what you find everywhere, including inside of you.
As a channel, this is what I came to do, I came to remember that I am One with you, that all my sins are forgiven because, in my true Self, they never really happened, and that I am Never-ending Love.
Will you join me in remembering?